This list reminds me of the “reasons my wife cried” list, lol.

But seriously I love this list and think it’s great to find joy in the small things like this. And if you don’t/can’t, it’s ok to seek out help for your mental health.

I’d recommend reading the book Influence by Robert Cialdini. It talks about six mechanisms that are most effective in making people do things, one of which is reciprocity. Getting something from someone makes us significantly more likely to do something for them.

You might believe you’re above these mechanisms of influence, and you may truly be mindful enough to avoid a lot of them, but these things work on our psyche at a deep level and it’s unlikely you’re immune to them.

All of this to say that if you’re ever in a place to accept money or things from people you disagree with or don’t like, think reeeally hard about whether you’d be willing to eventually compromise on your values for that freebie. Because you might eventually find yourself doing that unconsciously.

I was firmly against them but an opportunity showed itself early in my career and figured I could stick it out for 2 years to get a big name on my resume… and somehow it’s been ten years now. But it’s a company with a genuinely good culture and my career has grown constantly over those 10 years, so I’ve been happy. TBF, my employer before this was extremely toxic so in comparison it’s been amazing.

I appreciate seeing the Quaker love on Lemmy! (UUs are awesome too, in my experience!)

There’s a lot to take issue with in your post that doesn’t mean people prefer fake things.

Assuming people hate reality because of these arbitrary dichotomies that aren’t actually black and white.

Spending time online can mean making real, personal connections. Why is that less valuable than spending time outside? Are people who have allergies or heat intolerance or live in a big city somehow lesser because they can’t spend as much time in nature?

Many people don’t get plastic surgery or any of the things you listed. Plus a lot of people who claim they hate makeup and prefer “natural beauty” actually just like natural-looking makeup and prefer that to people who truly don’t wear any.

Organic is more expensive and less accessible than not-organic; often it’s not a choice. Plus like another commenter said, it’s not like GMO means fake. We’ve been genetically modifying plants for millennia through selective breeding; we’ve just sped up how it’s done.

Ozempic is an easier way to weight loss and yeah, some people take it as a lazy way out I’m sure. But also a lot of people who are overweight aren’t just that way because they’re lazy, but because there’s an underlying issue. Mental health issues like depression or addiction; physical health issues that cause weight gain like hypothyroidism or issues that make exercise difficult (and yes, weight can add to these problems, but a lot of time it’s a both/and situation); socioeconomic problems that make healthy food inaccessible due to time or cost limitations or living in a food desert. There are many reasons people are overweight beyond simply choosing not to exercise. (And I shouldn’t have to do this but just to head off any judgment you want to throw at me: my BMI is currently 18.1, putting me in the “underweight” category. I have never been overweight, I just have empathy for people who live different lives than me.)

You’re making a lot of false dichotomies and everything you’ve said is rooted in judgments of people. I suspect that’s where the downvotes are coming from, but I also suspect you’ll find issue in what I’m saying and dismiss me for it rather than checking in with your own biases and judgments.

Just curious, do you mean specifically the job as in role, or do you think this about going back to a company as a whole?

I can name easily a dozen, maybe two dozen people at my company I personally know who left then came back, although generally to a different role. And I’ve seen most of them get promoted after coming back, even to high roles like Director or VP. I don’t know if that’s just because of a good company culture or if it’s because it’s a larger business (2-2.5k corporate employees).

Maybe keep a small pillow over your collarbone area? Especially if you have a buckwheat or microbead one that molds to the shape of whatever you put it on.

I had abdominal/pelvic surgery with a cat who loved walking across my stomach, so while I was recovering I never lay down without a pillow covering my incisions. When she did step on it, the pillow at least helped disperse her weight so it didn’t hurt much.

My partner and I started dating when I was 23 and he was 35 and while I don’t think OP is in the right, I really feel like we stretched the bounds of what was ok. I still had a lot of learning the basics of being an adult, and he had to put up with some incredibly immature shit from me. We’ve been together 13 years now so I don’t regret it, but I do cringe and worry when I see others following in my footsteps.

My dad has always been on the right and he’s a Trump voter, but he’s mostly avoided going full MAGA-proud. We have always had a tense relationship when it comes to politics and at times had very little personal relationship. Now we just avoid political discussions or keep them very high level, and it’s manageable. I talk to him a lot less than I would if he didn’t have those views. His health is declining significantly at this point so I have decided it’s not worth trying to change his mind.

My mom is still with him and she’s leftist and we talk all the time.

My dad’s two sisters are deep into MAGA (they were proud attendees of Trump’s first inauguration). They’ve been far-right fundamentalist Christians most, if not all, of my life, so I already had a strained relationship with them before 2016. I haven’t even tried in over a decade now. I was recently diagnosed with a chronic disease that one of them also has and I kept thinking about reaching out but ultimately decided I don’t even want her in my life for that so I haven’t bothered.

Oh I love this and had to expand on it. Here’s what I’ve ended up with.

What’s the most boring invention? The drill

What’s the most ground-breaking invention? The shovel

What invention sucks the most? The vacuum

What’s the most pointless invention? The wheel

What’s the most empowering invention? The generator

My company has started using a survival metaphor of air/water/food.

• Air - “keep the lights on” work; things that will fundamentally stop the product or business (legal, compliance, security) if not done in the next year
• Water - foundational work; tech debt is here
• Food - strategic work, new features, experimentation

It works because it recognizes that you need all three to survive and you have different time scales on which you can survive without them.

We will choose not to drink water sometimes to make sure we can eat some food. But we will die if we only consume food.

I’m on the product side and trying to buy my teams as much capacity to pay off some of our wayyyy overdue tech debt, and this metaphor has made it easier to convey where we are to my higher ups.

Right! Thanks for the reminder (even if it’s more pleasant to forget).

The right was pissed at Disney years ago though (I can’t even remember what BS for); they’ve weathered that storm before.

I did a bit of reading to confirm my understanding, which is that employers can pay below minimum wage when tips are regularly earned by that employee. So technically, baristas, fast food workers, counter-service workers, and the like could fall into that category, but since it’s not a cultural expectation that those employees are tipped on every transaction, I think it would be harder for an employer to justify the regularity of their tip earnings and therefore pay them less than minimum wage.

That’s why, in my personal practice, those tips are optional and based exclusively on above-average service.

When it comes to takeout from a restaurant, there are usually two types of places I go: 1) smaller, individually owned restaurants, or 2) large chain restaurants like the one my coworker had previously worked for.

In the first case, I leave some tip because it’s a small business and I’ve known people who own restaurants and realize how hard a business it is. In the latter, I tip because that coworker told me that her role was paid under the assumption of her receiving tips and I realized there is a service being provided.

Anyway, lots of people seem to be disappointed about my personal choice to tip some types of food service. I appreciate you engaging in a way that doesn’t seem judgmental or defensive.

I’m not clear what you’re saying the problem is. The fact that I tip because it’s expected?

Me choosing to follow the system that was in place well before I was born isn’t the problem. The law allows for food service workers to be paid less than minimum wage. If you don’t agree with that, petition the government or boycott restaurants until they change policy; don’t stiff low-wage employees.

They did their job, yet our government legally allows their employers to not pay them full wages for their work and instead depend on their customers to supplement their wages. If you had a job that was legally allowed to pay you under minimum wage because it expected you to earn money in addition to that, then I would expect you’d get tips too.

Until the laws change in a way that support food service workers better, I’m going to continue to do my part in contributing to their wages.

I meant a takeout counter like Chipotle or somewhere else that you order and get the food at the same time, not sitting and waiting for an order somewhere.

When I’m sitting down to a dinner, the bare minimum I expect is food served to my table in a reasonable time, drink refills, etc., but I tip for that service. When I’m at a bar the bare minimum I expect is to receive the drink I ordered, but I tip for that service.

Again, as I said, I would much prefer if tipping were not a part of our culture at all. But I alone will not change that just by shortchanging low-wage employees.

I worked with someone who changed my mind on this. She’d worked the take-out counter at a restaurant and she talked through the kinds of steps she took to ensure the meal was correct, containers were properly sealed, and they had utensils, napkins, sauces, and all the things the customer would need or expect.

Learning about the amount of time and care put in at that restaurant made it clear that it was a service.

I usually give 10% at restaurants with a similar service because of her. With takeaway restaurants where you just order at a counter, though? I generally only tip if the people working were super friendly.

I’d prefer to not have a tipping culture at all. But as long as this is the society we live in, I can afford to pay a couple extra bucks here and there to help people who generally make shit wages.

I think everyone here understands that. The person you were responding to used air quotes implying that’s what the right will view it as.